Butterfly’s Flutterings


About me..
November 17, 2008, 7:29
Filed under: About the Butterfly

So I have two pages going on in this new blog of mine. One of course is the main page that you see this post on, and the other is titled ‘ About me…. yep one of those’ . It started off as just a quick summary that in two days has randomly turned into a small biography. I’ve decided that as I feel like writing about it I will keep updating it to let you in on what my life has been like before now. There will be a couple of sub pages there as well, that will have to do with my sisters. I’ve already completed one about my sister Krystal. And thanks Akemi for the nice comment.

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Wonder-full
July 11, 2010, 7:29
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: ,

Have you ever wondered where your life is going? Of course you do. The whole world is predisposed to trying to figure out what you’re doing, and where you’re going. See, my problem is that sometimes I just don’t care. All I really care about is good friends, not starving and going homeless, and doing what I want to do. So, the whole point of this I guess is to not wonder where you’re going in life, but to wonder what it is you love to do.



New Job and boy toy :55
May 28, 2009, 7:29
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

I have given my two weeks notice and I am out of here on Saturday!!  No one could ever really guess how excited I am about leaving. I really can’t wait!. I’ve met a new guy. Well. Kind of. I’ve known him for years and years, but I’ve always thought of him as the goofy little potheaded  kid I  used to hang out with. He’s changed so much and now I can’t get enough of him. The only thing that sucks is that he is in the Army. He is being stationed in Hawaii in a couple of weeks. I wish I could go with him. I feel like this huge hole that has been making me so unhappy is just starting to fill in. And he’s a big part of that. His leaving will probably stop all the good feelings. thumbsdown

At least I will have my new/old job to keep me busy all summer. I got back on at the grocery store here in town. I will be working as a cashier and also helping out as a cake decorator when its hella busy. I’m actually excited. I miss it there.

Hmmm. Hopefully J will come by tonight. He’s just too perfect to me.



2 In a row?… WOW.

My friend and I went to Chico yesterday. I love that town. Theres something about the houses and oak trees that really make me happy to be there. It’s my favorite town so far.

I went with my friend Summer to help her watch her kids while we just hung out. It was nice. The first thing we did was stop at Summer’s school. She is going to the University of Phoenix. I think I’m going to start there as well in a couple months. I’m so excited about that. Then of course we had to go to Starbucks. I know that most people will tell me that I should help support the smaller coffee shops, but you have to admit Starbucks is at the top for a reason. They’re fucking awesome.

After coffee, back to the school. Then to a great restaurant that was reccomended to us. The restaurant was called Broadway Heights at 300 Broadway st. I had the best sandwich I’ve had in a very long time. I ate the Creamy Pesto Chicken. It was so big I had to take most of it home. Very worth it. And the waitress was just awesome. I’m definitely going back there.Although just a tip, it’s not the type of place to take a 2 year old.

Summer also got a tattoo. She went to Sacred Art tattoos. I guess they dont have a web site, but a myspace. So check it out. They seem to do some great work.

While Summer was getting a tattoo, I got the [sarcasm]wonderful[/sarcasm] task of keeping the kids occcupied. I love the terrible twos. I went to the Elite Repeats Boutique on Broadway st. Its this great little salvation army thrift store. I barely had a quiet moment. But I did find a couple of good deals.

And that was yesterday. Thrilling right?

Today just the same old same old. I love life.



Just to catch up..
May 11, 2009, 7:29
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: ,

1.I am the most horriblest blogger that there ever was.

2. I’m also very lazy lately

3. And I’m a bit of a looser. :/

So. June Bugs right now are the bane of my existence. For some insane reason  they like my porch. Since I have my light on in my living room they also really like my window. All I hear right now is the clicky clicky clack sound of their wings right before they hit my window. It’s like suicide bombing beetles. Ick!! And you know how in the day time they are all slow and tired and don’t fly a lot? Well that means that tomorrow whatever gross bugs didn’t make it off the porch will be just sitting there, inching around in circles. I swept them off today. I made a game of it. I would fling them off the porch as hard as I could. And then I could actually hear them hit the pavement 20 feet away. It creeped me out big time.  And they’re creeping me out right now. Just so you know. thumbsdown

On other B news I got myself an iPhone. I am completely in love with it. I don’t understand how I ever got along without it. I learned some awesome tricks from my forum friend and iphone guru Scooby. He taught me how to jailbreak and unlock my iphone. I am so happy he did.

I bought my wonderful phone from ebay. I spent a grand total of $232.00. Which is not that much if you search ebay for an iphone. I found a great deal. Since I had planned to spend  so much money, I really couldn’t see myself spending another $70.00 a month for phone service and the data plan. So I went the geeky route and hacked it. I’m really happy I did. Not only do I get to use a prepaid wireless service, I also get to stylize my phone to fit my personality with all kinds of themes from the Winterboard app which I got through Cydia. And that’s another thing. I now have access to all kinds of apps that Apple App Store doesn’t carry. It’s amazing.

ipnone fun/ Louis Vuitton << Pictures !!

iphone fun/ Louis Vuitton 2 << Pictures !!

The theme I stuck with

Hmmm. Other news includes my littlest sister going in the army. I’m so proud of her.

I also have a new little nephew from my sister Stephanie and her looser husband. He’s so adorable.

Cuteness!! << baby pic lol

I found youtube finally. I’d never really paid much attention to it except to look up some music or the random how to video. One of my favorite people  on youtube is Philip Defranco. He does a couple vids weekly and a daily vlog. He’s hilarious. At times I think “what an asshole”, but its always while I’m laughing my ass off. He’s very goofy and sarcastic at the same time. It’s a great combination. Oh and he also does twitter stuff and has a blog

Another thing that I’ve done recently is get a pay cut. Yep that’s right. The company I work for took a 15% paycut out of each employees pay rate. I don’t know how many people care about this little bit of news, but to the 15 to 18 people I work with it’s HUGE!!!

The staff of the Inn was told to come to a mandatory meeting last Friday morning. At the meeting we were notified that each employee would receive a 15% pay cut starting the next pay period. They gave us two days notice that our livelihood is going to be taking such a complete blow. We were also told that cutting our pay so drastically will not even come close to solving their money problems, but will make a small dent. What I don’t understand is if this is only going to help just a tiny bit, why do it at all? I’m sure there is a better way to come up with that same amount of money. With so little of an amount of employees working here I don’t think they could be saving more than $3,500. We were told that supposedly once this money crisis that the hotel is going through is over, every one will go back to their regular wage plus a 5% raise. But they can’t tell us even a ballpark date on when this could be. It’s totally ridiculous.
I am personally loosing $1.57 an hour. That doesn’t seem like a lot when you look at it in print but imagine what that adds up to. I used to make only about $1,344 gross a month. The last check I received, $136.18 was taken out for taxes. We get payed bi-weekly so that makes about $1071.00 a month take home.Now I’ll be making $1,141 gross a month. I imagine that the taxes I’ll be paying will be a little less at about $115.00. That makes my new take home pay about $911.00 a month. $911.00 A MONTH!! I’ve been doing some number crunching, and that leaves me about $200.00 to feed and cloth myself after I pay my most basic bills.

I understand that this “recession” is taking a hit on all of us, and I am so happy that I at least still have a job. But I can’t help but feel that there has to be a better way to save/make a little bit of money to keep us at our same pay rate. I can’t think of it though. Anyways I just had to get this off my chest. Especially since we were asked not to make a big deal of this and spread it through the community. So now I’ve spread it through the interwebs. Muahahaha tease.

Today is actually kind of a bittersweet day for me as well. I’m very sad that for a year now a friend of mine has been gone. But I’m also happy that the community seems to have got through it just fine. We’re a very resilient bunch.

Oh!! and I almost forgot!! The sun was out in all its beautifulness today. And I got a sunburn. I love the sun. There is something about the heat I feel from the sun that relaxes me. So i was very happy about that.



Holy Toledo!!
January 6, 2009, 7:29
Filed under: Uncategorized

O.k… I can’t sleep. I decided to take a look at my blog yet again. What I wrote earlier is still on my mind. I took a look and my blog stats and you will never believe what I found!!
Jan. 2nd- 4 views
Jan. 3rd – 1 view
Jan. 4th – 3 views
Jan. 5th- 13 views!
And finally
Jan. 6th- 31 view!

Holy toledo batman!! what is going on here. Are all the people actually reading what I wrote? If so, leave a comment people!! tease



Day’s lost in thought

A couple days ago I decided to stay up late and clean my house. It was a huge mess and it needed to be done. I was in a good mood about it but doing anything and everything i could to procrastinate folding laundry. I decided to go through some old papers I had in a shoe box in my room. You know the type. Old tax returns,old love letters and bills. Every one has some thing along those same lines. I was digging through it when I came across something that made me sit down and think. It was two small little booklets. The type you get when you go to a funeral or memorial service. One was for a girl that I had worked with at the grocery store for almost two years and really liked. The other was for her brother. He had also worked for the store before but had been at college for the last couple years. Coming across them without even thinking broke my heart.

Last May both Jenny and Billy Carrigan died. Not by the same hand or circumstances, but both in the same horrific few days.

Jenny was a really sweet girl. She was one of the hardest workers that I knew and she was only in highschool. She was 18 years old.  We shared a lot of fun times while working together. I could always count on her. She was very popular. A cheerleader, softball member and school band member. I believe she was also in the after school band for excellerated members. Over all she was one of those all american girls. The last I saw her was, I think, the day before she was murdered. All we said to each other was something along the lines of “hey,whats up”

Jenny Carrigan

Jenny Carrigan

I don’t remember Billy very well. I know he started out at the grocery store as a courtesy clerk. Bagging groceries and helping people to their cars. He moved to the meat department a little while after he started once he turned 18 .  I do remember that he was so happy about that. He was a cheeky little guy too. Always around with a joke or sarcasm. He was 20 when he died I believe.

Billy Carrigan

Billy Carrigan

I didn’t know Reyes very well either. Just that he and Jenny had been an  on and off again couple for years. All throughout high school. I do know that the times I had talked to him were ok and I did like him. He had started at the grocery store just a little while before everything happened. Things were strained between him and Jenny when they both worked the same shift. They had recently broken up again.

Reyes Carrillo

Reyes Carrillo

I didn’t know Steven Furtado at all.

Steven Furtado

Steven Furtado

Here are a few links to their story. I don’t feel up to typing the whole thing out.

http://411chatter.com/51/jennifer-carrigan/ This person did not know Jenny. As you can tell by their continued use of the name Jennifer. Also some of the facts are a little off.  please read the comments. I do not know if what heather says at the bottom is true or not.

http://www.kcra.com/news/16355184/detail.html This covers most of the highlights

http://www.lassennews.com/News_Story.edi?sid=4782&mode=thread&order=0 This was written by a local newspaper

http://cbs13.com/local/jodie.Carrigan.Chester.2.725498.html This is a video interview with Jodie. Jenny and Billy’s mother. Tonight is the first time I’ve been able to watch it.

I remember the day very well. I was at work and had no idea of anything. It was May 11th, mothers day . Prom night was the night before. I had just went back to working at the grocery store as a part time second job.  I worked the summer as a Cake Decorator. I worked at the store all morning then had an hour break, changed then went to work at the hotel. I remember that hearing that Jenny hadn’t shown for work and I also remember that the store was unusually quiet for May. That is the beginning of tourist season. But I didn’t know what was going on. Around six o’clock that night is when I heard the news. My assistant manager at the hotel came to me and brought the subject up.  She was under the impression that I already knew. It was a very hard way to find out that a friend of mine was dead. I was shocked. At first I thought that it was a mistake. I thought Jenny was maybe just in the hospital or something and they thought she might die. I had gotten the facts backwards. After it sunk in I sat down and waited for my shift to be over. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done recently. I dealt with guests all night and never shed a tear until I got home. The next week was really hard as well. Guests at the hotel found out of course. It was on news channels every where. Almost every guest I dealt with asked me what happened, if I knew them and did I think Reyes did it. I always told them I didn’t know and could we please not talk about it. Working at the store was hard as well. The atmosphere was strained. Not just the employees that had loved and worked with Jenny, Billy and Reyes, but also with the customers that came into the store. We  all wore the same strained expression.

I’m not exactly sure how to end this post. Except to say that last May rocked this town to its core. And I’m surprised we’re still here.

Rock at highchool. Usually filled with "Go Team" or used as school pranks from rivals.

Rock at highchool. Usually filled with "Go Team" or used as school pranks from rivals.



the last few days.
January 1, 2009, 7:29
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

If any one read this blog I’m sure they would be aware that I haven’t written over the last few days. I haven’t had the chance to really spend time at the computer.I have had on hell of a time, and not in a good way. Let me break it down for you.

Monday 21st , The Wind Shield Wiper Dilemma:

I drive a Toyota Carrolla. It s a 91. Well when I bought it the girl told me that the fuse for the windshield wipers were blown. I never thought to doubt her so I figured I would get it fixed someday. I bought it at the beginning of last summer, and I live in California. It rained once during the whole summer. I had no need of wipers. It’s now December and I really do need windshield wipers. I went to get them fixed on Monday. Well its not a fuse. My type of car doesn’t even have a fuse for the wipers. It’s a bar that goes from one side of the car to the other and connects the wiper’s motor to the wipers themselves. The stupid thing is twisted  all to hell. And now I have to spend like 50 dollars for another one. To top it off the whole time the guy was looking at it, I was standing out side in the snow. It took like an hour. my feet were freezing!

After I learned of  that  new problem I went to pay bills. Of course that didn’t go as planned either.  I ran out of checks. I need to order new ones. So a very unlucky day for me. now on to tuesday…

Tuesday 23rd, The Broke Down Hoe Down:

I woke up to a bright and clear sunshiny day. No wipers needed. I was so very happy.  i needed to take my sister to the doctors. I had to take her to Susanville. 45 min. away. We got there and of course made a stop at starbucks. I love thier White Mocha, and the cinnamon dulce latte.   Then to Wal-mart.

O.k so I am a completely car ignorant. But it wasn’t my fault for once!!

I own a 1991 toyota corolla. Its in really good shape. The battery was starting to die when it got really cold so I went to buy a new one at wal-mart. My sister and I were just going to put it in ourselves but we had to ask a guy for a pair of pliers to loosen a bolt. He offered to put it in for us. Me being a complete girl and not wanting battery acid to get on my clothes I accepted. Any ways the idiot put it on backwards. Even I know enough to hook negative to negative and positive to positive. Well of course it wouldn’t start. I had no idea what went wrong and he left. I thought maybe i just bought a dud. We asked another person I knew to give us a jump with my old battery 20 min later. When I went to go switch them is when he noticed that it was on backwards. We switched it the right way and tried again. Nothing. So then we put the old battery in and tried to jump it and of course still nothing. This is when I decided to call for a ride home. When my ride got to me he looked at it and saw that a fusable link was burnt. I bought a new one and now my car will turn like it want to start but it wont catch and actually start. All the lights inside the car work and so do the headlights, blinkers and tail lights. And all the other fuses in the car are fine as well.I’ve been told it could be a number of things.
-burnt wires
-the igniter
-the cylinoid (sp?)

could cost me like $500.00 usd. or soI’ve been told. I still need to have a real mechanic look at it.

That’s the short version. Well my car is still broken and I have to walk back and forth to work. Thats ok though as long as the roads are either covered in snow or completely clear. I hate walking in slush.

Christmas Day!! dec. 24th and 25th:

So i ended up having to stay the night at my sisters house on the 23rd and the 24th. I hate not being at my own place at night. I really don’t mind having visitors myself but I don’t like to do the visiting. Is that weird? But Except for the sleeping arrangements I had a blast. We stayed up playing Manopoly and Scrabble both nights. I kicked ass at scrabble but i don’t think I have the necessary amount of evil to win at Manopoly. We had or family dinner on Christmas eve. It was really late because my sisters mother in law forgot to thaw the turkey. We had all the usual stuff.

On Christmas day I had to work so i found a ride home so that I could get ready. It was a really borring day at work.

And for the rest of the story:

Between Christmas and new years I didnt do anything extremely different. I started a new friendship with a girl online. She is really nice. Her name is Mac. And she belongs to the same forum as I do. I have had a lot of fun getting to know her.

I think I got my friend Carson mad at me. I basically told him that he needs to stop playing games with me. He  keeps me on a hook in a way. We were seeing each other almost two months ago and then he got transferred. But there is still the chance that he will come back. We keep in touch via text, msn and sporadic phone calls. I was always under the impression that it was just as friends. But every once in a while he’ll call me and say ” I miss you so much” or ” I wish I was still with you up there hunny”. I mean how am i supposed to take that. When I told him that it confuses me too much when he did that he just came back with crap like. “ok whatever you say.”  Asshat. Or whenever i ask him a question about his personal life since he’s left he’ll act as if I’m acting  jealous or something. I’m not i just want to know. How can you have a conversation with someone who doesn’t say anything in return. So now he’s not talking to me.

Tues. 30th Time to PAAAARRTAAAY!! ok so this is the rest of the story:

I went to a party that was thrown not on new years but the day before. There is a very good reason for this. Every December thirtieth we throw this party.

My friend Summers dad died on this day 3 years ago. He died of semi natural causes. I say semi cause sometimes there is just nothing natural in cancer these days. But he was one of the most hospitable men I have ever known. His biggest joy in life was getting people together to have a good time. So that is how we celebrate him on his anniversary. Not through sadness but through a good ol’ small town party. It was a blast. I got a little too drunk and spent the next day with a hangover. which of course was New years eve. I ended up spending new years talking to friends on the internet and to my good friend Kristtan on the phone.  And now here it is new years day and I’m at work once again.